Wow, this is wonderful. Even though it's just one mission it's perfectly set in a larger world, and I love all the glimpses of this AU we get. Lots of politics! Elizabeth must have a headache, or be in her element, or probably both.
And I love, love, love the people from Pegasus being competent and in charge and being the focus of what's happening, instead of those Earth intruders that just make their lives harder. Pegasus idioms and customs! Love them, and how natural they are for Ronon, who was to adjust to the weird Earthlings.
It's great how you managed to make the characters' relationships the key point from the beginning and hold the tension until the end. I'm really sorry for John here (if I squint I have some sympathy for Cam, too), and poor Ronon has to deal with them. The John-Cam-Ronon triangle is very well done, and not everything is necessarily completely resolved, though it is better; love the much more relaxed, happy atmosphere in the epilogue. Sprinkled in there are nice character observations, just a slight step left from canon and very fitting.
Your Teyla is awesome and fits in perfectly, and that the Satedans and other folks from Pegasus are less forgiving of her role as a Runner than the Earthers were to Ronon makes perfect sense. I also loved that in the epilogue Ronon acknowledges that Kanaan can kick ass; that's much too rare in fic! Though John is on Teyla's team now, I bet he trains a lot.
Before I forget, the writing is great, too, vivid and good to read, but I'm too tired now to pick out favorite phrases.
You said in comments elsewhere that you originally had more/other things planned. I'd offer a lot of cake for the chance to take a look at the notes/what you've written so far :) It's a very intriguing world!
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And I love, love, love the people from Pegasus being competent and in charge and being the focus of what's happening, instead of those Earth intruders that just make their lives harder. Pegasus idioms and customs! Love them, and how natural they are for Ronon, who was to adjust to the weird Earthlings.
It's great how you managed to make the characters' relationships the key point from the beginning and hold the tension until the end. I'm really sorry for John here (if I squint I have some sympathy for Cam, too), and poor Ronon has to deal with them. The John-Cam-Ronon triangle is very well done, and not everything is necessarily completely resolved, though it is better; love the much more relaxed, happy atmosphere in the epilogue. Sprinkled in there are nice character observations, just a slight step left from canon and very fitting.
Your Teyla is awesome and fits in perfectly, and that the Satedans and other folks from Pegasus are less forgiving of her role as a Runner than the Earthers were to Ronon makes perfect sense. I also loved that in the epilogue Ronon acknowledges that Kanaan can kick ass; that's much too rare in fic! Though John is on Teyla's team now, I bet he trains a lot.
Before I forget, the writing is great, too, vivid and good to read, but I'm too tired now to pick out favorite phrases.
You said in comments elsewhere that you originally had more/other things planned. I'd offer a lot of cake for the chance to take a look at the notes/what you've written so far :) It's a very intriguing world!